Hey there, beautiful! In case you forgot…
You have a name other than “mommy” and you shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to discover or reconnect with your identity outside of motherhood.
But I’m willing to bet that you struggle with doing so, and even when you manage to do some sort of self-care or personal development, you quickly feel some level of guilt.
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Let’s Talk About Personal Growth As A Mom
Do you have trouble achieving personal growth as a mom or incorporating some kind of self-care into your life?
If you’re like me, somewhere in the back of your mind, as you do something simple for yourself you’re thinking something like, “I should really be doing laundry” or “I need to start cooking dinner” or “I should spend time with my significant other” and the list goes on and on for all of eternity.
Tell me you get me!
Because if I’m being honest…it took me months after my son was born to let go of control just long enough to take a steamy shower and maybe put on some makeup after.
And when I did, the amount of guilt for being away from my baby or choosing myself (and a basic need of personal hygiene) over household chores, was downright stupid.
I don’t remember when it finally hit me that it wasn’t selfish to leave my son alone with his Dad for an hour, or to ask him to choose a family day instead of volunteering to work overtime again, or to just say screw it and leave the dirty dishes for another day.
I can only assume it happened when I was at my witts end and running on coffee, incoherent sentences, chips and salsa for dinner, and less than 3 hours of interrupted sleep a night. And no…I didn’t get the chance to “sleep when the baby sleeps”.
Which is why I don’t feel bad saying what I’m about to say.
Now, try to resist the urge to gasp or slap me or leave this page in a huffy after I say this.
If you’re going through something similar and just can’t seem to find the time, motivation, or the help to take care of yourself (or if you feel guilty doing so)…
Get over it.
Too harsh? Well maybe. But it’s something I believe you need to hear — mostly because it’s what got me to realize a few things.
- Feeling guilty about wanting to grow personally (or in your career) is not just unfair to yourself, it’s unfair to your family, because…
- When us Moms take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to care for everyone and everything else, too.
- Your identity does not just revolve around raising your child, loving your partner, working your job, or caring for your home (no matter how much you love doing so!), but includes things like your hobbies and passions and skills and yes, dreams.
- Someday, when your kids are grown and busy in their own lives, you will need to have something left in yourself and your life that doesn’t depend on their need for you.
- Personal growth as a Mom will help curb depression and anxiety (ask me how I know!)
- Carrying the title and role of caretaker and homemaker does not devalue the other titles and roles you either currently have or want to have (like a badass business woman or committed coffee connoisseur)
- Sometimes it’s just made out to be more complicated than it really is! Personal growth and self-care doesn’t always have to be baths and buying a new outfit and it doesn’t always have to mean taking hours at a time to do it. There are simple ways to incorporate it into the day.
- The best way to grow in your own identity and to love yourself is often the less glamorous and ugly side of things. For instance, printing affirmation cards to read to yourself when you are about to lose your cool, or going to counseling to try and mend your soul from a broken past, or learning to say “NO” and standing up for yourself and your needs.
- Self-care doesn’t always have to cost money.
- You don’t have to be alone to practice personal growth.
Did I step on your toes a bit? Well good! If you are anything like me, you probably needed it. 😉
Still, I know simply just getting over it is really not that simple, now is it?
We will be going over a few things like how to find time for self-care, and getting started on a deeper level of personal growth.
But first, let’s talk about something a bit more pressing: Mom Guilt.
Why You Feel Guilty About Putting Your Personal Growth As A Priority
In order to grow in your own identity and take care of yourself, you first need to get over your guilt. Part of getting over it though, is understanding why it’s there in the first place. If you don’t understand something, how can you fix it?
So, figure it out.
Now, I’m not saying that in order to figure this out you need to go to a therapist and talk about your childhood and why you are the way you are (though I totally don’t diss the idea if that’s what you want to do!) But I do think you should spend some time at least thinking about it. If you want to go a step further, grab a journal and start writing out some of your answers so you can have more clarity of thought and something to look back on as you work towards getting rid of all that Mom Guilt.
Ask yourself things like:
- Did (or do) I have good role models when it comes to things like self-care and personal development? If so, who? What made them a good model of someone who intentionally took time for and invested in themselves?
- What (if any) are some things I do on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis for just myself? How much time do these things take?
- Are these self-care and personal development activities and exercises interrupting family time? If so, how and how often? Why do they interfere with family time or other activities? (Is it due to lack of planning or lack of help and you squeezing it in where you can?)
- How does my family react when I do something for myself? (It doesn’t matter what it is or when.) Are they deliberately or accidentally making me feel bad?
- Do I do enough for my family (or anyone else)? If not, why do I feel this way? (Is it just something I’m insecure about, or is it something that someone has said whether it was direct or indirect?) What needs to change in order to satisfy my responsibilities towards my family and household?
- Do I do too much for my family? Why or why not? Am I afraid to let go of control and delegate tasks, or do I try to please everyone else and support their needs above my own?
- Is the word “No” a foreign word to me? Is overcommitting myself a fairly regular thing? Do I enjoy or have time for these things?
- Am I a planner type of person or do I wing it? Does it just depend on the day? Do I have systems and schedules in place? Or am I totally unorganized and have no idea where all of my time goes?
- When it comes to help, do I have any? If so, who and how often? Is getting help something I have to pay for (like a housekeeper or babysitter) or something I “nag” about?
- Is self-care and personal growth something I feel I deserve? Why, or why not?
- What is personal growth and self-care to me? Is it just getting 10 minutes to myself, or is it being able to take a college course?
- How would growing my own identity change mine and my family’s lives?
Don’t shoot the messenger! If you don’t like your answers, that probably means something needs to change.
I can say that with total love and sincerity because — yep, you guessed it — I’ve been there. Right where you are, right now.
Every dang day was like a battle within myself to either say something or not say too much when it came to speaking up for myself and communicating my needs. (Who would’ve thought that for someone with this much attitude, that I would have such a hard time asking for help and standing up for myself? Ha!)
The Mom Guilt (and I suppose Wife, Daughter, and Friend Guilt) was so real that one day I kind of just decided that it wasn’t worth it anymore!
And you know what? Things did change.
Not because I hid my feelings, or let them explode and cause an unnecessary mess (though that has happened).
Things changed each time I decided that I wanted them to, and when I finally told myself — and everyone around me — that things not only needed, but were going to change.
But of course simply wanting and talking about it isn’t enough. I had to (and still do) figure out how to make the changes that needed to be made, just like you need to.
How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt
Think about all of the advice you give to other people. Do you say things like, “Do what makes you happy!” or “Make time for yourself”?
What about the encouragement you give to your other mom friend when she’s having a bad day? Do you tell her just things she wants to hear, or the truth that she needs to hear?
Sometimes we are our worst enemy and that is especially true when it comes to Mom Guilt.
So, shake things up a bit and be your own friend!
Getting rid of Mom Guilt won’t happen overnight. You’ll probably still feel some level of guilt no matter what you do, because it’s one of those things that just come with the territory.
However, there are some things that you can do that will help change your mindset about personal growth as a mom.
Start by doing some of these things:
- Read affirmations cards throughout the day (These are the ones that I personally use every day and LOVE!)
- Make a self-care or personal growth journal to write out your needs, your dreams and goals, and what you plan to do about them.
- Start small and do simple things first, like going to the store by yourself or staying up just 20 minutes later than usual to get alone time.
- Give your family the attention and care they need from you, and keep them as your first priority. When it’s family time, put everything else aside and focus on them only (no computer or learning or phones, etc.) so that at the end of the day you know that you gave them your undivided attention and uninterrupted time.
- Use your time more intentionally. Instead of trying to write in your journal or do some other self development activity while the family is awake and around, plan ahead of time (well, as much as you can plan with a baby!) and commit to doing it when you’re alone.
- Be more efficient by adopting a simple approach to everything. If you have too much stuff and house to clean, declutter and downsize or delegate tasks. Is dinner something that takes too long and uses too much energy? Plan ahead with freezer or easy crock pot meals. By using your time more efficiently, there will be less stress but more time and energy for you to take advantage of.
- Get inspired (and light a fire under your butt) by reading books or blogs.
- See and feel the difference. As you take more time for yourself and grow your own identity outside of motherhood and everything else, chances are you’ll be more patient, understanding, happier, less depressed and less anxious.
- Give it time, be patient, and know that Mom Guilt usually means you’re a good parent!
Simple Ways to Incorporate Self-Care and Personal Growth Exercises Into Your Daily Life
Self-care looks different for everyone, but there are some general ways that work for most! It doesn’t have to be girly or overly complicated. Make it whatever the heck you want it to be!
Below are some simple suggestions and things that I have used personally to care for myself and grow my identity.
Try some of these out and you may be surprised to find they work great for you!
- Affirmation cards
If you’re not really the kind to say cheesy stuff or read inspirational and motivating quotes, I still recommend at least trying to use affirmation cards throughout the day! I used to hate this kind of thing, but they have helped me so much in dealing with Mom Guilt and self-doubt.
Stick them on your fridge, your mirror, your wallet, and anything else that you use frequently for a quick reminder that you don’t suck and a simple pep talk!
These are my faves so far!
- Gratitude journal
You don’t need some special gratitude journal if you don’t want one, but having a notebook where you can just write at least one thing that you’re grateful for every day is an easy way for some personal growth.
- Read inspirational books
Much like I didn’t like affirmation cards at first, I wasn’t a big fan of “self-help” books. But when my Partner’s mom gave me a book that she said changed her life, I was too intrigued (and in need of some encouragement) to not give it a try. And no lie, the book “Key to Living the Law of Attraction” by Jack Canfield and D.D. Watkins literally changed my mindset about everything!
So, if I were to suggest just one inspirational book to you, it would be this one. It’s a short and sweet and to-the-point, no B.S. guide to more intentional living — which is really what personal growth and self-care come down to!
- Listen to audiobooks or podcasts
I don’t listen to audiobooks but when I think about it, I love podcasts! The Do It Scared Podcast by Ruth Soukup is a great one to motivate and inspire you!
- Commit a minimum of 20 minutes per day to a hobby or interest of yours
You don’t have to be good at it or have experience doing it — just pick something that interests you and spend time every day on it. If you don’t like it, pick something else! It could be crocheting, graphic design, crafts, cooking, playing on Pinterest…anything that is just for you!
Some love it and some hate it, but we all need it! Exercise doesn’t have to be complicated, time consuming, or dreadful. Just take a walk around town at least once a day and take in the fresh air and sunshine.
This is something I never remember to do but helps so much. Mediation pairs really well with writing in your gratitude journal, so try to mediate for several minutes either at the start of the day or at the end, before or after writing in your gratitude journal. It’s a great way to relax and readjust your mindset if needed.
- Healthy diet
Perhaps the most important aspect of all is making sure that you are taking care of your body as a whole. What you consume does so much more than just satisfy your cravings and fill your stomach. That can be either a good or a bad thing! Incorporating a healthy diet into your life is something that will reward you day after day and will improve your mood, focus, and energy just to name the simplest benefits.
More Ideas for Growing Your Own Identity Outside of Motherhood
- Take a course or a class
If going back to college is one of the things you’ve always wanted to do, do it! See if you can start with a single class, going part-time, doing online school, or opt for a certificate instead of a degree.
Another great option is doing free or affordable courses either online or somewhere local to you. Udemy is a great place for online courses that are affordable and self-paced! They have frequent sales so keep an eye out for them.
- Ask others what they think you’re good at or seem passionate about
Oftentimes the best ideas and realizations about ourselves come from other people! If you have someone in your life that knows you well and you trust, go ahead and ask them what they think you’re naturally gifted in or talk about.
- Try something new and out of your comfort zone
Stepping out of your comfort zone is one of the biggest ways to find opportunities for growth! Think about some of the thins that pique your interest but seem too hard to do, and do it anyway! This is how I came to be a blogger and how I have fallen in love with everything online business. My identity has evolved into so much more than a Mom, Wife, Homemaker, and dreamer. Because I researched something that I was curious about (blogging), took a chance on myself to try something new and stepped out of my comfort zone, I am now a blogger, entrepreneur, and goal-chaser.
- Take a quiz or personality test
These aren’t something I would necessarily take as gospel just for the fact that people change so often and a test can’t possibly sum up the entirety of someone into a few answers. However, they do offer a good amount of insight, especially if you are feeling lost and like you have no idea who you are or where to start to grow as an individual. One of my favorite personality tests is The Myers & Briggs Personality Type Indicator. If that one doesn’t suit you, there are hundreds more available on the Internet!
- Ask yourself what you like to do
What do you always seem to do or talk about for free? What do you dream of (both literally and daydream)? When you wake up, what’s the first thing you’re thinking about? Likewise, what do you go to bed thinking of?
Usually what you excitedly volunteer for is your passion and something to consider making a career or a hobby out of!
Make a note of these things as well as why you like them, and then try them out!
- Think about what you don’t like
Sometimes you need to know what you don’t like in order to figure out what you do like instead! What seems to stress you out of the most? What feels like a total drag to you?
Write them down, and then next to each thing you don’t like, make a note of what you like as a result of doing that thing. For example, you may hate cleaning but you love having a clean house.
Next, write down why you don’t like each particular thing. Sometimes we don’t like something simply because we don’t think we are good at it. However, you might surprise yourself by how much you enjoy something when you know more about it or know how to do it better. (AKA, me and writing. I used to hate writing until I practiced it and learned that not only do I enjoy it, but some people even like my writing style!)
Making Goals for Yourself as a Mom
This is important to pay attention to when trying to incorporate more personal growth into your life. You can do all the journalling you want and take every personality test on the Internet and talk all day long about how you take self-care to a whole new level — but is that all you really want?
My guess is no.
But if it is, then that’s great and I encourage you to stick with it!
For some of us though, we just long for more. Whether it’s being a totally different kind of Mom, or starting a business from scratch, or travelling the world with our family. In order to get what we want out of life, we need to set goals and figure out how to actually achieve them.
The Importance of Goals as Moms
It’s a very easy and very real thing to lose yourself in motherhood.
Sometimes it’s easy to prevent and sometimes it’s easier to miss the signs that it’s happening. One of the ways to both prevent and fix losing your identity as a mom is to set goals for yourself.
They can be simple like eating more vegetables and fruits and trying Yoga at home, or they can be as much as starting a new career or going back to school. Whatever they are, they’re important.
It’s important for you to have something for yourself at the beginning and end of each day. People need to know that even though you are a badass mom and spouse, you’re also really awesome at other things, too. Those “other things” that you are or do deserve respect and attention.
Personal growth and self-care are also SO important for curbing depression and anxiety, especially as a first-time mom! Your family needs you to be healthy and happy. You need you to be fulfilled and content. When we each take care of ourselves, everybody wins!
But you can only grow those other parts of yourself if you set attainable and SMART goals and have a plan to achieve them.
No more excuses.
Common Obstacles to Setting and Achieving Goals
Before we get into the How To part of setting and achieving goals, let’s go over some common obstacles (or downright excuses) that keep up from succeeding.
- Lack of planning
- Little to no motivation or inspiration
- Not enough time
- No clarity
- Lack of support and accountability
- Not knowing how to plan or set goals
- No resources
- Not enough money
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Unsure of how to get started
- No focus or stamina
- Not seeing the bigger picture
- Taking things too fast instead of one step at a time
- Trying to do it all
- Saying yes to everything and everyone
- Forgetting why you started or not having clear reasons for starting
- Having unrealistic expectations
- Adopting and sticking to a negative mindset
- Not starting on a solid foundation/setting yourself up to fail
Do any of these sound familiar?
I’ll be honest, I’ve made pretty much every excuse known to man in so many areas of my life, whether it was in school, or why my house wasn’t always exactly presentable for a long while after having my baby and staying home, and even in my career (or lack of) choices.
They weren’t excuses stemmed from being lazy (I am the furthest thing from a lazy person!), but from fear.
I hate to say it, but I’m not much of a risk taker. I let fear drive my decisions way too often, when it really should take a backseat. Can you say self-sabotage?!
You have probably let a few opportunities go as well, and I’m willing to bet that you are dealing with some of the obstacles or excuses on the list about. They’re all valid, but not valid enough to keep you from achieving what you want in life.
So if you have excuses, let them go. It doesn’t matter where they come — they’re not serving you or your success so it’s time to identify them, work through them, and throw them to the curb.
As for the more legit obstacles like not having money or help? It comes down to this: how bad do you want it?
The old saying “where there’s a will, there’s a way” is a cliche for a reason! Sometimes you just have to get really creative and resourceful to find your “way”. But if your “will” is strong enough, you’ll do what you have to do (within reason, of course).
How to Set and Achieve Your Goals
Finally — the good stuff!
This is the part you are going to think about and go over all your goals and dreams for personal growth and plan them.
It’s not as simple as jotting down what you want and when you want it, though. In order for our goals to become a reality for us Moms, we need to plan and be intentional with our time and what we commit to.
I’ll admit — though this is my favorite part, it’s the area I suck at the most. I tend to get very overwhelmed and tired just looking at a to-do list or at-a-glance calendars. But when I do force myself to plan ahead and actually stick to it, I realize it wasn’t that difficult or complicated. Sometimes we really do play things up in our head! 🙂
So, here are some tips and guidelines to setting and achieving your goals as a Mom!
Set SMART goals only
Have you ever set some really high or lofty goal and then just got discouraged because you didn’t achieve it? Yeah, me too. Let’s avoid that now, okay?!
Instead, set SMART goals so that you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into.
What are SMART goals? They are
When making specific goals:
-Use action words
-Clearly state your plans and your wants
-Ask yourself if it’s detailed enough
When making measurable goals, ask yourself:
-Are these measurable?
-How can I track my progress?
When making attainable goals:
-Don’t try to do everything!
-Ask if you can realistically accomplish this goal
-Consider putting it aside until a better time if you don’t have the resources (time, money, etc.)
Considering relevant things like:
-What resources do I have?
-What else do I need?
-How will I get them?
A key to accomplishing your goals is giving yourself a deadline, so to set yourself up for success ask yourself:
-What is my deadline?
-Can I realistically accomplish your goals within this time-frame?
Use your time efficiently and intentionally every day
It’s way too easy to waste time, especially when you have so many things to do and feel overwhelmed. Not only that, but little time suckers sneak up all day long and are so ingrained into our daily lives that it’s hard to notice them! I don’t know about you, but when I wake up, the first thing I do is check my phone. I also check it when I’m drinking my coffee, when I’m bored, and when I’m going to bed.
It’s worth it to evaluate how you spend your time, or rather how you waste your time. Then, replace the time wasters with things that will bring you closer to your goals!
Being intentional also means being efficient.
As Moms, we have to be really creative in order to get everything done and take care of our families and ourselves. Add in work or extra projects and it’s pretty dang easy to see how quickly time seems to run out.
To get the most of your time and not compromise on self-care or personal growth, try implementing some of the following ideas:
- Listen to podcasts or audiobooks as you clean, run errands, nurse the baby, etc.
- Baby wear while you do activities
- Learn to do things one handed (not as easy as it sounds, I promise!)
- Master the Instant Pot, slow cooker, easy meals with simple ingredients, and freezer meals
- Wake up earlier or go to bed later than everyone else (both if you’re crazy like me)
- Incorporate your baby into what you’re doing (they find everything entertaining so talk to them and explain what you’re doing when you do Yoga exercises, brush your hair, read, clean, etc.) This encourages more bonding and helps your babe learn all kinds of things! 🙂
- Multitasking…but only on the not so important things that don’t require too much attention or focus (face mask while you vacuum as opposed to trying to cook and study at the same time, for example)
- Automate and streamline when possible (things like autopay bills and use Amazon’s Subscribe and Save for shopping)
- Do your most important work when you’re alone and can fully focus
- Get a jump start on things like laundry and dishes when you first wake up or go to bed so they don’t interrupt as much of your day
- Delegate tasks to other household members, ask for help from family, or hire help
- Figure out how to save time in other areas of life (can you online shop instead of going to the store, or have a specific laundry system in place like a couple of baskets per person instead of dressers so you save time folding, or declutter so you don’t have so much to clean or wash every day, etc.?)
Start every morning with a plan
It doesn’t matter if you’re a Type A personality or the kind of person to just wing it — having a plan in place every morning will help you see results 10x faster than if you didn’t.
By writing down the most important tasks for your day, you are much more likely to complete them.
So, start by giving yourself one “most important” task of the day. Then plan your day whichever way works best for you, whether that’s specific times or a general outline.
Flexibility is key, especially as a Mom! It’s important to remember that you only have 24 hours in a day, and not every day will be productive. You won’t crush your goals all the time, because well — life! Be kind and forgiving of yourself and those around you who may get in the way every once in a while. 🙂
It doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t have to schedule everything right down to the minute. I usually don’t schedule times at all unless there are appointments or deadlines. What I do instead of specific times is just a simple outline organized by AM, AFTERNOON, and PM. This helps me to not get overwhelmed or be upset if I don’t get everything done.
Do what works best for you!
End every night with reflection
Being able to reflect on what you did or didn’t accomplish every day is vital to achieving your goals.
You need to be able to celebrate the wins, learn from what didn’t work, and understand both situations. Not to mention, it’s a great way to gain motivation when you can go back and see how far you’ve come!
Always end your day by asking yourself some simple questions like:
- Did I accomplish my most important task today? What was it?
- What stood in my way in accomplishing my goal, if anything?
- Was there anything that I could’ve done to change or prevent that? If so, how?
- What were my wins today? (Celebrate even the minor things even if they don’t have anything to do with your goals like getting the dishes done!)
- What were my losses? How can I learn from them?
- How can I improve my productivity tomorrow, or repeat today?
- Did my actions today put me closer to my goals? In what ways?
Feel free to write your answers down to track your progress or just go over them in your head.
Plan using the Eisenhower matrix
The Eisenhower Matrix is likely to be your knight in shining armor if you struggle with planning or priorities. It is incredibly simple and makes so much damn sense, you’ll wonder how you ever got by without using it!
In a nutshell, you organize your to-do list by four different categories:
- Urgent and Important
Just like it sounds, these tasks need done PRONTO!
- Important but Not Urgent
Must-do things that need scheduled and completed within a week’s time.
- Urgent but Not Important
This would ideally be tasks for someone else to do for you, or things that must be done ASAP but won’t make or break the day if it doesn’t get done (like forgetting to set the trash out for pickup). Tasks that fall into this category should be done after #1.
- Not Important or Urgent
If it falls into this category, you might as well forget about it. They’re probably major time suckers and wasters!
Master your mindset
Probably not what you want to hear, but that won’t make it any less true; mastering your mindset is crucial to your success.
It’s going to be very hard to be pleased with yourself or satisfied with what you’ve done in a day if all you can think about is what didn’t get done. I’m not saying you have to be annoyingly cheerful and peppy, but a positive mindset and outlook will get you further than an average or worse — a negative one will. It doesn’t matter if you plan to a T and accomplish every task on your to-do list, if you have a crappy attitude, it’ll get to you eventually.
A positive attitude and open mind will give you the motivation and stamina to keep going when things get boring and mundane or rough and rocky.
I mentioned it earlier in this post, but if I had one book to recommend to you to change or grow your mindset, it would be The Key to Living the Law of Attraction by Jack Canfield.
A Special Note on Putting Yourself as a Top Priority
Notice how I said “putting yourself as a top priority” and not “make yourself the first priority”?
Sidenote: Yes, you can absolutely have more than one top priority in life. The key to maintaining them all is balance, though. Without proper balance, the entire household falls apart.
Back to my original thought…
For someone who tries to take care of everyone the best we can, we tend to be pretty lousy when it comes to caring for ourselves.
We skip showers when we seem to run out of time, yet again. We lose sleep so that everyone else can get their rest. Our dinners sit on the counter as we run around trying to tend to the baby, the house, and our spouse. When we finally have two damn seconds to sit down and eat, it’s cold and we are so tired and hungry that we don’t even care.
I’m pretty sure even superheros (which we basically are) need a break and some rest.
Seriously, though — you deserve to make yourself a top priority. Maybe just not the first priority…that spot should probably be reserved for your family. 😉
This means making room in your life and your heart for your spouses needs for their own self care and personal growth. It means putting aside yourself when necessary to fully meet your children’s needs and be 100% Mom in that moment.
It’s all about balance, baby! Is it easy? Nope, not really. But is it possible? Hell yes, it is!
Summing It All Up!
Whew. Hopefully you are feeling a little fire underneath your tushy! If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember to take it one thing at a time.
I know I threw a bit of advice your way, but here’s the gist of it all:
Personal growth as a Mom is a tough thing to manage, but it’s doable. The same goes for self-care. It’s not something that should be ignored or pushed to the side. You need to take care of yourself, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it if you are putting your family first.
You already know how hard it can be do practice self-care and grow your own individuality outside of motherhood, but you probably don’t know how to do that, or at least not very well.
Here’s some tips:
- Figure out why you feel guilty about putting yourself as a priority
You need to understand something before you can fix it.
- Take steps to stop feeling guilty about it
Simple things like affirmation cards and journaling can be a great way to reduce Mom guilt.
- Find simple but effective ways to practice self-care and personal growth daily
Gratitude journals, podcasts, multitasking, and exercising are just some of the many ways to incorporate self-care into your daily life.
- Consider deeper levels of personal growth
Wanna learn a new skill or earn a degree? Go for it, girl!
- Make goals for yourself and take the necessary steps to accomplishing them
Your greatest success story will first begin with a plan. Make sure your goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) and combine it with your kickass determination and commitment, and you’ll achieve them every time!
- Don’t put yourself as the first priority, but as one of the top priorities
It’s all about balance and finding what works for you and your family. I believe in you!
How are you feeling about it all so far? Inspired? Scared? Anxious? Offended? More discouraged?
If you can look past your feelings and at the bigger picture, you’ll be able to get much more out of this article than just passively reading it.
You can feel whatever you want (or don’t want) but all that matters at the end of the day in terms of getting to where you want in life — including personal growth — is what you do about it.
It wasn’t long ago that I felt stuck and miserable. I didn’t like who I was, how I thought, and how I never seemed to have anything for just me. Motherhood may still be a fairly new thing to me, but that doesn’t mean a thing when you are drowning on the inside. I looked at my life and myself, and I knew what I wanted to change, and I figured out how to change them. Many of those changes mean mindset shifts and daily check-ins with myself.
Personal growth and self-care are not easy. It’s not glamorous. It’s hard work and dedication and forming new habits that you stay on top of daily.
But the hard work pays off every day you look in the mirror and feel proud of the person staring back. It’s worth it to know that you’re becoming a better person for your baby to grow up looking up to. It doesn’t just feel good to feel like you’re more than just a mom or wife or homemaker, but it’s good for everyone else, too.
You can’t fill from any empty cup, so fill yourself up daily, Momma Friend.
What are your top self-care and personal growth tips for Moms?
Share in the comments!